The Importance of a Relationship in Negotiation
To build a long-term relationship in negotiation, work collaboratively and build agreements that benefit both sides.
Build a relationship in negotiation by asking questions, then listening carefully. Even if you have decided to make the first offer and are ready with a number of alternatives, you should always open by asking and listening to assess your counterpart’s interests.
Note that if your style of listening isn’t sufficiently empathetic, it won’t elicit honest responses.
A relationship in negotiation is a perceived connection that can be psychological, economic, political, or personal; whatever its basis, wise leaders, like skilled negotiators, work to foster a strong connection because effective leadership truly depends on it.
Build powerful negotiation skills and become a better dealmaker and leader.
Positive negotiation relationships are important not because they engender warm, fuzzy feelings, but because they engender trust – a vital means of securing desired actions from others.
Consider that any proposed action, whether suggested by a negotiator at the bargaining table or a leader at a strategy meeting, entails some risk.
People will view a course of action as less risky, and therefore more acceptable, when it is suggested by someone that they trust.
In order to create a durable relationship in negotiation, there are four basic building blocks that can help you create effective partnerships with the people you lead:
- Two-way communication
- A strong commitment from the leader to the interests of those he leads
- Reliability
- Respect for the contributions followers make to the organization
How to Build Trust Within a Relationship in Negotiation
People tend to respond to others’ actions with similar actions, as research in the social sciences has found. If others cooperate with us and treat us with respect, we tend to respond in kind.
If they seem guarded and competitive, we are likely to behave that way ourselves. What’s more, is that such exchanges can spiral into vicious cycles (those characterized by contention and suspicion) or virtuous cycles (those in which cooperation and goodwill prevail), according to skilled negotiation expert Keith Allred.
The reciprocal nature of trust reinforces the value of taking time to get to know the other party and build rapport before you begin to negotiate. Don’t assume that you can form a bond simply by exchanging a few friendly e-mails before meeting in person. Rather, try to forge a personal connection by meeting for an informal lunch or two.
Even just a few minutes of small talk can go a long way.
In her research, Northwestern University School of Law professor Janice Nadler found that negotiators who spent even just five minutes chatting on the phone—without discussing issues related to the upcoming negotiation—felt more cooperative toward their counterparts, shared more information, made fewer threats, and developed more trust in a subsequent e-mail negotiation than did pairs of negotiators who skipped the telephone small talk.
