“Getting to Yes” outlines a different way to negotiate without giving in. It is called principled negotiation and focuses on the merits instead of positions. Not only can this style of negotiation produce quicker, better results, it can also maintain and sometimes even enhance a good standing relationship. So what makes it better?
  1. People: disentangle the people from the problem
  2. Interests: focus on interests, not positions
  3. Options: invent multiple options looking for mutual gains
  4. Criteria: insist that the result be based on some objective standard
Table 1: Cons of Soft/Hard Positions and Pros of Principled Negotiation
Source: “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Ury
Whether you are a hard or soft bargainer, you may be missing out on opportunities and damaging your relationship with positional bargaining. “Positional bargaining puts relationship and substance in conflict.” By negotiating on principle and working together to solve the problem, everyone involved can win.

Story of Two Coworkers and One Orange

Let’s take an example from “Getting to Yes.” On your way to lunch, you come across two coworkers fighting over an orange. “I want it. No, I want it.” It is the last one so they ask you as a third-party to help them come to an agreement. What do you do?
Most cut the orange in half. One coworker eats the fruit and throws away the peel. The other coworker throws away the fruit and uses the peel to bake. Unless you take the ½ fruit and ½ peel from the trash, value was wasted. By focusing on positions to get the orange, assuming that they both wanted the fruit, and not focusing on the underlying interests behind the positions, both threw opportunity in the trash.
Figure 1: Understand Underlying Interests behind the Positions
Source: “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Ury
It is important to remember that at any time during the negotiation, you can change the procedures of the negotiation process. If the partner from another negotiator starts off with a position, you can say, “Can you please help me understand the needs and interests that this position serves for you?” For every interest, there usually exist several possible positions that could satisfy it. “What are you trying to solve for?”
Below is a checklist of references to the book “Getting to Yes” before, during, and after a negotiation. “Getting to Yes” is a must have for every negotiator and every decision maker because these best practices can be applied to a multi-million dollar deal in a similar way as to where to eat dinner.

Before the Principled Negotiation

  1. Build a working relationship
    • The quicker you can turn a stranger into someone you know, the easier a negotiation is likely to become and easier to understand their perspective
    • Try arriving early to chat before negotiations are scheduled to start and/or linger after they end
    • Ben Franklin’s favorite technique was to ask an adversary if he could borrow a book, allowing for opportunities to meet again and discuss a similar topic
  2. Put yourself in their shoes
    • Why have they selected their position?
    • Why not my position? What interests of theirs stand in the way?
    • The ability to see the situation as the partner from another negotiator sees it, as difficult as it may be, is one of the most important skills a negotiator can possess
    • To understand a negotiator’s interests means to understand the variety of somewhat differing interests that they need to take into account
  3. Be prepared to communicate what the partner from another negotiator would like to hear even if you think it is unimportant because not standing in the way of an agreement
    • This is an example of an opportunity to act inconsistently with their perceptions which will help disentangle people from the problem
    • Look for items that are of low cost to you and high benefit to them, and vice versa
  4. Go in with a few options, concrete but flexible
    • An open mind is not an empty one
    • Your task is to give them not a problem but an answer, to give them not a tough decision but an easy one
    • It is never too early in a negotiation to start drafting as an aid to clear thinking
  5. Know your BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement)
    • The reason to negotiate is to produce something better than the results you can obtain without negotiating
    • This is the standard against which any proposed agreement should be measured
    • Without one, you are negotiating with your eyes closed
    • The better your BATNA, the greater your power

During the Principled Negotiation

  1. Give them a stake in the outcome by making sure they participate in the process
    • Agreement becomes much easier if both parties feel ownership of the ideas
    • Focus on where you would like to go rather than where you have come from
  2. Ask questions, listen actively, and acknowledge what was said
    • Show them that you understand, “You have a strong case. Let me see if I can explain it…”
    • Phrasing their view positively shows understanding but not necessarily agreement
    • Acknowledge their interests as part of the problem
    • This prevents the partner from another negotiator from thinking, “I told my view but now they’re saying something different so must not have understood”
    • If you can put their case better than they can, and then refute it, you maximize the chance of initiating a constructive dialogue on the merits and minimize the chance of their believing you have misunderstood them
  3. Don’t react to emotional outbursts
    • Never yield to pressure, only to principle
    • Allow the partner from another negotiator to let off steam and leave little or no residue to fester
    • As part of disentangling the people from the problem, the emotional outburst is not a personal attack so see how can solve underlying interests that caused it
    • Fight hard on the issues; give support to the human beings on the partner from another negotiator
    • Neutralize ploys that indicate deception, those designed to make you uncomfortable, and those that lock the partner from another negotiator into their position just by spotting them and raising the issue explicitly
  4. Speak to be understood and about yourself, not about them
    • Treat partner from another negotiator as a fellow judge to decide a joint opinion
    • Partner from another negotiator cannot argue your feelings but they can if you’re telling them how they feel
    • Recast an attack on you as an attack on the problem
  5. Brainstorm and invent options for mutual gain
    • Be creative yet clear to separate inventing from deciding; it is not a negotiating session
    • No-criticism rule and refrain from attributing ideas to any participant
    • The key to wise decision-making lies in selecting from a great number and variety of options
    • To invent additional options, look through eyes of different experts

After the Principled Negotiation

  1. It may be hard to resist but give credit to the partner from another negotiator for the agreement
    • This may be especially important if one of the partner from another negotiator’s primary interests is how their constituents view the agreement
  2. Substance can be phrased in a way to emphasize a fair outcome
    • People may continue to hold out not because proposal is unacceptable but because want to avoid appearance of backing down
  3. Decision is now precedent which can be used in future negotiations
    • Few things facilitate a decision as much as precedent
    • Look for a decision or statement that the partner from another negotiator may have made in a similar situation, and try to base a proposed agreement on it